Redeeming Fatherhood

For me, and for many others, the Psalms have long been and continue to be a source of great peace, comfort, and perspective. This is likely because many of us can relate to the imperfect life of David. In one breath he’s rejoicing, declaring the faithfulness and goodness of God, while in the next, he’s languishing and lamenting over his discomfort and situations.

David penned more Psalms than any other author, but who were the other authors? Who wrote Psalm 46, one of the most well-known Psalms about God being our refuge and strength? Above Psalm 46 we read: “Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A Song.”

Who were the Sons of Korah?

A quick, and non-dissertation level of research, fueled by my own curiosity, gave me a brief understanding of who they were.

They came from the lineage of Korah, who was the grandson of Kohath. The Kohathites were given a very arduous and burdening job of carrying elements of the tabernacle and the Ark of the Covenant as the Israelites traveled during the time of Moses.

After enduring this work for a generation, Korah lost sight of his duty. He gathered other men who shared in his displeasure and formed a ploy to revolt against Moses and Aaron. Well, his plan was thwarted and ultimately, he, along with the 250 other men in his camp, were swallowed in an earthquake....... but their children survived.

Fast forward to the time of King David and the following passage becomes clearer:

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.” (Psalm 46:1-3)

Were they referencing what their ancestors experienced when writing?

During the time of King David, the Sons of Korah became extraordinary poets, lyrical maestros, and authors of eleven of the Psalms we read today.

Why is this important and what does it have to do with redemptive fatherhood?

Because God is not forgetful. He redeemed the shortcomings of Korah by blessing and bestowing favor to his lineage. Because brokenness in our past and especially in our present is not a curse; it’s a pathway to redemption and forgiveness. It’s a pathway to

a healing and relational communion with a good and perfect heavenly father. And it’s a pathway to empathize with those we love most, especially our fathers and our children.

Redemptive fatherhood is less about who we are as earthly fathers, and more about an appropriate understanding of a heavenly father that loves us unconditionally, because in him we’re made whole.

When we receive God’s unconditional love, we shift from a scarcity and orphan mindset, to one of abundance and wholeness. As a man, a father, if I haven’t embraced God’s abundance as a son, it’s nearly impossible to love and serve my family from a place of wholeness. Without it, the rich, perfectly imperfect moments of fatherhood are exchanged by thoughts and doubts, fueled by scarcity.

Recently, I was reading an article on how our childhood experiences shape our emotional responses to the way we parent and react to our own children. It hit me hard, really hard. I was using words with my son that came from a place of scarcity. Upon this realization, I was immediately brought to my knees in tears because I knew I had lost sight of his abundance as a son.

Because I’m a son, I live from a place of abundance and not from a place of scarcity. Because I’m a son, I can receive his love as a father.
Because I’m a son, I can love my children as a father.
Because I’m a son, I’m fully equipped to steward the hearts of my children.
Because I’m a son, my shortcomings are platforms to impart perspective and wisdom. Because I’m a son, my presence should bring peace in my home.

God is good, he loves us unconditionally, our shortcomings become his canvas to create, and he delights in his creation and calls us his beloved. May we never forget this. May we write it on the tablet of our hearts.

Full Circle

A few weeks after Father’s Day in 2019, I was on our back patio having a phone conversation with my father. We talked for what had seemed like more than two hours, a wonderful conversation. Towards the end of the call as we were wrapping up, he said; “Peter, I need to tell you something; I never should have left you and your brothers, I’m sorry.” I almost fell apart because these words from him were an affirmation that meant “Son, I love you, you are my beloved.” For the past 30 years, each time we’ve spoken, my father has always told me “I love you,” but this time it was different. If only I could have jumped through the phone; I would have wrapped my arms around him for a very long, long time.

Less than a month after our conversation, God gave me a clear vision for what’s now become Kinsmen Journal. It’s fitting, because my father has spent the majority of his life in publishing. Much of what I know and the instincts I’ve developed in publishing are a direct result of my learning from him. I’m reminded that when we surrender everything to God, he beautifully orchestrates each and every detail of our lives, including redeeming what’s buried deep in the recesses of our hearts, like my continuing our family trade, publishing.

The father I am today is because of the fathers I’ve had in my life, and I’m forever indebted. Like me, my children will need to seek out who God is in their life; they’ll need to experience his goodness and faithfulness firsthand as their faith grows and develops. But you can be sure, I’ll be giving each of them as many opportunities as I can, because he’s been good, so very good to me.

An excerpt from Redeeming Fatherhood by Peter Ostapko. Read more in Kinsmen Journal Volume 1.