Strengthen Your Integrity
When I was a young engineering student at the University of Minnesota my apartment overlooked the I35W bridge that crossed the Mississippi River just north of campus. It was an impressive structure with its four lanes of traffic each way and massive steel beams holding it up. I had driven over that bridge hundreds of times. But on August 1st, 2007, the unthinkable happened. During evening rush hour, when traffic loads were peaking, the I35W bridge suddenly collapsed into the river below. In engineering terms, the integrity of that bridge’s structure had been compromised and down it came.
Although not a bridge, each one of us as men has an internal support structure to our lives. It’s called character. The structural integrity of that character is constantly being tested by the pressures of marital responsibilities, parenting challenges, job stresses, schedule demands, financial worries, and battles with our own desires. Some days, those pressures can feel overwhelming, but the people who love us are counting on the inner structure of our lives holding up. They are counting on us not to collapse.
When that integrity is compromised, people get hurt. The collapse of the I35 bridge killed 13 people and injured 145 others, including 22 children. It’s no different with us. The pain to others can be life- imprinting and deeply disillusioning. I have been especially aware of this as the father of two daughters. They were curiously observant little people from the time they were young. They watched me constantly. The credibility of everything that I was trying to instill in them was at stake if I lost their trust because of an inconsistent life.
In order to continually test the stability of my own life and character, I have found these integrity-strengthening questions to be helpful:
Are there areas of ongoing secrecy in my life that I am intentionally hiding from others?
The Apostle Paul said, “we have renounced secret and shameful ways” (2 Corinthians 4:2). What are those questionable behaviors that trigger thoughts like, “I hope my wife never sees me doing this” or “I wouldn’t want to run into anyone from church right now” or “I hope my boss never finds out”? Those internal thought patterns ought to set off alarm bells and shake us into ruthless honesty.
Our secrets keep us sick. For a while, other parts of our lives may seem to function just fine, but as we keep indulging in those secret, morally questionable behaviors our hearts become hardened, our integrity compromises and the structure of our character slowly weakens. Pay attention to what you hope to keep secret.
Who are the men who pray for me and hold me accountable?
I surrendered my life to Jesus as a boy. To this day he has never given up on me. But along the way he has also put other men in my life who loved me enough to walk the journey of integrity with me. Once a younger banker and an older pharmacist asked if they could start meeting together with me for breakfast. The reason? “We like you as a pastor,” they said, “but we also want you to be a great husband and a great father.” They understood the importance of accountability and integrity. I’m grateful for relationship and intentionality of these men in my life.
It took a long time, but the I35W bridge in Minneapolis was eventually rebuilt. Today it is safer than ever. I will actually be driving over that bridge on an upcoming trip. And as I do, I will be thinking again about life and character and structural integrity.
Read more of Strengthen Your Integrity by James Bradford in Kinsmen Journal Volume 1 — Purchase here.
