Redefining My Ambition
The word stewardship has greatly changed my life.
I recently celebrated my 39th birthday and spent some time reflecting on what has changed over what I perceive to be the best decade of maturation in my life. I spent much of my young adulthood trying to come to grips with dangerous narcissistic tendencies that were, in the words of a very helpful therapist, “destroying all the relationships that mattered most.” Listening to a recent podcast series on the subject has only served as a painful reminder of the kind of person I was becoming. Fortunately, God has provided me with great mentors and character shaping opportunities to grow into something different, but the first decade of marriage and “adulting” were both tough and awkward.
I spent much of that time trying to be what I understood to be a leader, yet opportunities to lead in a more direct way continued to evade me. I leaned into what I believed were my strengths and enjoyed vocational success, yet I remained under a developmental ceiling I couldn’t seem to rise above. My wife and I had children, and together we grew as people, as a couple, and as a family. There’s no doubt this slow and steady experience — very mundane and relatively unseen — was being used sovereignly by God to shape my character in ways I simply could not appreciate or understand.
Nevertheless, a handful of years ago, it seemed as though the ceiling finally gave way and a dramatic change took place in my marriage, as a father, and in my vocation.
The source? It came from an understanding of a deeply meaningful and increasingly important word, stewardship. This understanding invites me to see the vast and expansiveness of the world around me, including my place in it. Prior to this realization though, I spent much of my life experiencing a narrative centered around me — my gifts, my thoughts, my dreams, my training, my desires. I’ve since realized how selfish my thinking and subsequent actions had become.
Let’s go back to the garden, to one of my favorite stories, where the story of creation takes place. God took Adam and Eve and He placed them in the Garden, asking them to properly care for and steward creation. It was an invitation to partner with God in His creative endeavors. He values collaboration and relationship.
Embracing this idea of stewardship began to creep into all areas of my daily life. It seeped into the crevices of my relationships. It soaked through the packaging of my vocational pursuits.
In my job, I’ve taught hundreds of college students that all vocation is holy and sacred — the stuff you feel called to and the stuff you never want to do again. All vocation is the proper ordering and stewarding of God’s creation. The teacher, the mechanic, the artist, the stay-at-home parent, the healthcare professional — all of them are learning how to partner with Him as He orders Creation by bringing shalom, restoring justice, and physically participating in redemption.
Understanding stewardship mentally positions me in a place somewhere other than the center. It postures my heart to remember that this is God’s world and we are his children. I’m a steward, a partner in helping God achieve what He wants to do, He’s inviting me in. So how can I do my part?
So when God saw fit to open the doors to leadership, as others asked me to lead our organization, it seemed as though I was a different man accepting the role. This was God’s organization and work on the college campus. I was a steward.
When God decided for this current season to expand the reach and influence of a podcast, I simply wanted to steward those opportunities, those resources, and that influence well. After all, it’s really not about our material — it’s a small expression of something God is doing on a much larger scale. I want to be a steward.
When God wakes my children each morning and we gather for morning prayer, when we Sabbath together, or recite our family values around the table — this isn’t about a moral code or my children’s behavior. It’s because I’ve been invited to be a steward in their lives, and to teach them how to steward the things God will give them.
When I consider the relationship I have with my wife, I realize it’s taken me far, far too long to be concerned with her dreams, her development, and her flourishing. It’s humbling to think how long it took me to consider my marriage in terms of the support I provide, rather than the support I receive. And of course, this beautiful woman with a beautiful soul is the other side of a mutual partnership God has given us to help us better partner with him. I am called to steward half of this covenant partnership.
Through all of this, I find that I am a vehicle, a conduit, a vessel through which God can do something spectacular. And it’s infinitely better than anything I’ve ever been able to do on my own.
Peter asked, “Lord, are you telling this parable to us, or to everyone?”
The Lord answered, “Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.”
Luke 12:41–44 NIV
